Nollywood actress Shaffy Bello has urged young women to prioritise their own development and independence above relying on their partner’s riches or financial standing.
Shaffy Bello underlined the need to change conventional assumptions in contemporary relationships in an interview with Ifedayo Agoro.
Shaffy Bello pointed out that young males are under pressure to manage their financial obligations and satisfy material wants.
She promoted partnerships based on cooperation, support, and common objectives and urged women to be more considerate of their spouses’ financial circumstances.
Shaffy Bello said, “I think if there’s anything that I can leave with the younger ones or my age, actually, because I see some of our ages too, we’re badly behaved. Some women, even at my age, don’t say the right things. We need to be mindful of what we say. Somebody’s listening. And so because my daughter is listening, we’ll be listening. And because my other children are listening.
“I think one of the mistakes that the younger ones make and we’ve sold it is he must be rich oh, don’t get me wrong. You’re gonna take care of what you need to take care of. That’s not what I’m saying. But I need people to think of it this way.
“Immediately you start to think your affluence in life, what you can make, I want to meet that rich man. And then you give up something in the universe that says until you meet that person, I want to be that man that people are talking about. You know that man that is in every girl’s dream to meet and make, no, I will be that person. You for yourself. For myself, yeah. So when I make it and then he’s around. I sit on your cake. Yeah, well, what are we doing today? You’re gonna take me on a trip. But no, no, no, this is how I want it.
“Yeah, because I can do it. Yeah, absolutely. So that idea of a man must take care of me financially, a man must be rich before I meet him. You think he’s holding girls and women back from finding love? Absolutely. And look, I understand all this, our men too, young men. Come on, you can do better. You can do better. And I say this, stay in your age bracket, stay in your bracket. And here’s what I mean by that.
“So I sat down with two young ladies and I said, okay, so when you guys date a young man, what are you looking for? Hey, he must take me out. And when I’m going on the dates, I should, at least I’m gonna get my hair done. I’d spent all that money and then to what? And that’s okay, that’s okay.
“So I flipped it and I said, okay, let’s assume a young man, 31, 29, 31 average. And I said, if he’s making 450,000 a month, average, some are making a million, some are making, but average, the one that’s not married, still hustling, 450, you’re making maybe 250, 350, right? But this young man, you expect him to take you on a date twice in a week.
‘He meets you, he meets you and he says, how you doing, what’s up? And he gets your number, would you like to go to dinner? And he wants to impress you. So what that means is he’s going to take you to dinner and the average dinner and that kind of impression now is about 75,000 to 100,000. Okay, is that high? Come on now, is that high? Oh, yeah. If we’re just being really moderate, right? Moderate, okay. So he does that on a Thursday” Shaffy Bello continued.
“What that means is the next week, by the weekend you’re chatting, you expect him to take you out again. Maybe you went out on a Wednesday. By Saturday, you’re home, you’re not doing anything. You expect that this guy you just met should take you out again, let’s go out again. So he does it again, 75,000, that’s 150. That guy has spent 150 out of 450. And there are other responsibilities as well.
“How do we partner? How are we gonna make this work? Because you spent 75,000 last week. About how much do you make? Guy’s not gonna wanna tell you because he’s still doing, but sooner or later, by the third date, you have an idea of what he makes. That’s when you should both be talking about, this is what I make. This is what I make. How are we gonna make this work? And that’s what’s called potential. So you see that potential, he’s working, he’s hustling. And what he says and his actions, that’s how you pick”.
Shaffy Bello further disclosed that she was open to marriage however, she was not looking to marry a younger man.
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