Toke Makinwa shares, ”If I had remarried, I would have ended up divorced again”.
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In the latest episode of her Toke Moments podcast, Titled ”I am Growing Up, Not Old” Toke Makinwa opened up about life at 40. She acknowledged that the idea of being single and childless at this stage once frightened her, but she has now come to terms with it.
Toke Makinwa emphasized how draining regret can be and underscored the importance of embracing one’s reality. She admitted that it was initially difficult to accept being 40, single, and without children but she has found peace in that truth. She also shared that if she had remarried, she believes she would have ended up divorced again.
Despite her past fears, Toke says she now feels free, grateful for her journey and content with the self-awareness she has gained. She o longer worries about others’ judgements or about what might happen in the future. While she remains open to marriage, motherhood or even adoption, she’s focused on enjoying her personal growth and living authentically.
she says:“Regret is so exhausting. Get comfortable with your truth. The hardest thing I could say to myself is that I’m 40, single, and childless. I said it, and I did not die. That used to make me almost tear up. I used to feel like, ‘Oh my God, how am I 40 and I don’t have a child, single and lonely?’”
“If I’m completely honest with you guys, if I had gotten married again, I would be divorced again. Because the lessons just never stop. I’m grateful for the journey, I’m grateful for where I am, I’m grateful that I’m 40. Life is perspective. I could look at it like, ‘Oh my God, I’m 40, and I don’t have a child, I don’t have a husband. People have passed me.’ But I can look at it as, ‘I’m 40, I’m a boss, I’ve built an empire. I’m one of the most resounding voices in Africa. I have the love of family, I’m in great health, I love what I do, I’m not waking up miserable. I have the right amount of people that are supposed to be in my life.’ Sometimes, you need to sit with your truth. And once you sit with your truth, they say, you cannot shame the shameless.”
“Once you can tell yourself these uncomfortable truths—I’m not always going to be childless, I’m not always going to be without a spouse or a partner if I so desire it. What I desire, desires me, too. This is where I am. This is what it is right now. The moment you can tell yourself those ugly truths, they become beautiful. Sometimes, I’m happy and lucky that I get to experience life this way and learn my lessons this way. Eventually, when the person that’s made for me comes along, I know that I’m more mature, I know that I’m in a better headspace, and I know what it’s like to be in a relationship.”
https://chat.whatsapp.com/GxfCtlAzWSMAtz92Gn6fws
Toke Makinwa was previously married to businessman Maje Ayida. They wedded in 2014 but separated in 2017. In November 2024, rumors emerged suggesting she had married long time rumored partner, Farouk Umar, claims clarifying they were simply ”best friends” and that the purported wedding ceremony was actually her Thanksgiving celebration.
